You and your spouse are at your limits. You think divorce is your next step. Yet have you exhausted all of your resources in order to prevent a divorce? Petrelli Previtera, LLC is a divorce and family law firm with offices in Denver and in Highlands Ranch. We have years of experience helping people navigate the sometimes complex waters of divorce proceedings. We help in child custody issues, as well as alimony and property division. When you need a good family lawyer, reach out to us today.
COUNSELING BEFORE DIVORCE
Many couples don’t really want to divorce. However, problems divide them that neither one seems able to fix. But is divorce the answer? Marriage counseling may help. With marriage counseling, you’ll have a third party person who is unbiased with regards to the happenings in your marriage. Your therapist is equipped with tools that can help you begin communicating with your spouse in a meaningful way. Here are some things to consider.
- You do have a choice. Marriage counseling does not work for many married couples because one or both chooses not to try. Both you and your spouse must want to save your marriage. This means you want to work on communication, healing your wounds, finding the spark, and other priorities to getting back together. If one does not want to work on the marriage, then Petrelli Previtera, LLC notes that it will be virtually impossible to save it, and you’ll need to start divorce proceedings.
- Your partner is not your enemy. Once you’ve chosen to work on your marriage, both you and your spouse must be all-in with the tools and the homework your therapist will give you. You’ve also got to realize that your spouse is not your enemy, not the monster you’ve created him or her to be. One of the first steps is to end the arguments, the defensiveness, the withdrawals, and the anger and begin to discover what is driving those emotions. Petrelli Previtera, top divorce attorneys, note that this is the first step in saving your marriage.
- Make a list of deal breakers. Most marriages have one or several critical issues that is fueling the divorce, such as infidelity, pornography, or just lack of intimacy. Each spouse needs to make a list of things that the other must change in order to save the marriage.
- Remember why you married in the first place. Petrelli Previtera, LLC note that most couples headed for divorce deeply love each other. It’s remembering that beneath all the hullabaloo that can save your marriage. Recommit to that feeling you had when you first met and recommit to treating each other like you did when you first got together. Go out on dates. See movies. Take walks together without any drama involved.
- Take ownership of your role. We are all human, and we all bring to the table faults that we have, some of which have contributed to the state of the marriage you are in right now. Take ownership of these, and agree to change them.
- Commit to the tools and the homework. Petrelli Previtera, LLC notes that divorce counselors are professional therapists who have years of helping couples reconcile before divorce. They have tried and true tools either from research or from experience that can help you save your marriage. Commit to what the divorce counselor is asking you to do. Some of these ideas can include starting a project together, such as building a canoe or sewing a quilt. You can take on a remodeling project. Working together can really help you rediscover the love you have for your spouse.
- Let it go. Just like Elsa says in “Frozen”, you’re going to have let all the hurt, anger, and resentment go, forgive and forget, and start new for your marriage to work.
- Write out a pro/con list. The divorce attorneys at Petrelli Previtera, LLC recommend that you put down in writing a pro/con list of what staying together means to you and what divorce means to you. Go into as much detail as possible here. What would your life be like? How would the children be affected? What would you do differently? How would your life change? Sometimes, even just living apart from each other for a few days will give you mental clarity on what it would be like to not live with the other person. Live in and breathe it. You may discover just how much you would miss your spouse.
- Random acts of love. Petrelli Previtera, LLC notes that it’s the little things that do matter in this world and that can make all the difference. Leave love notes around the house for your spouse to discover. Give your spouse a kiss when he or she arrives home from work. Cook dinner. Put the kids in bed. Discover your spouse’s love language (The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman) and implement these changes.
- Die to self, and put your spouse’s needs first. This is just a matter of shifting your perspective, and once begun, is quite easy to implement. It’s often just asking them what they need or are they okay or even how their day was. Petrelli Previtera recommends that you prioritize doing things for the other person over what you have planned, and making a conscious effort to help your spouse.
HOW Petrelli Previtera CAN HELP WITH YOUR COLORADO DIVORCE
Petrelli Previtera, LLC is a divorce law firm here to help you with all your divorce needs in the Denver area. While we recognize counseling is a viable alternative to divorce, it may not work for everyone. Some differences just can’t be overcome. As a no-fault divorce state, you don’t need to blame anyone for the dissolution of marriage. You only have to state that it is irreparable. If you’ve gone through marital counseling and taken other steps to avoid divorce, then you know in your heart you tried your best. Petrelli Previtera, LLC always puts our customers’ needs and priorities first when it comes to their divorce. At your initial free divorce consultation, we’ll sit down and discuss your priorities in your divorce and then our promise to you is that we will fight to make your wishes happen. We will communicate honestly with you about your divorce proceedings and be realistic about expectations. Our mission is to expedite your divorce as quickly as possible through the court system, so you can move on with your life. We strive to be not only top-notch divorce lawyers, but also a law firm that won’t break the bank. We will use all options available, including litigation, collaborative divorce, and more to achieve your goals. Contact us today to get started!<