When you separate from a spouse, you will worry about who will take the kids. Depending on your situation, you may need a lawyer to figure out the proper parenting plan. It can be tricky to agree to the terms set during a divorce, especially when the kids are older.
The first thing you need to do is to come to an agreement with your spouse. You can allow the lawyers to communicate for each other, or in extreme cases, go to court and have a judge sign an order. Once that is settled, it will be time to answer your kid’s questions.
They will likely ask questions that may be unnerving to answer. However, you must answer them honestly with transparency to help get them on the same page. If your kids are young, it may be easier to explain, but the older the kids are, the harder it will be.
Tips on Making Co-Parenting work
The first thing to understand is that you and your ex need to be on the same page and understand each other. This can be an exceptionally hard thing to do, but it is essential for your kids. If they see you disagreeing, they may take sides, and it will be harder to get them to accept the arrangement. Here are the best tips you can use to help your kids.
Stick to the Routine
Kids have routines with school, daycare, and after-school activities. With your attorney and ex’s attorney, look at your kid’s schedule. Find a solution that will limit the amount they have to change their routine and agree on it. This will allow your kids to accept the co-parenting plan.
Don’t Get Your Kids in The Middle
Often, you won’t want to talk to your ex. However, you should not allow yourself or your ex to use the kids as messengers. This can cause feelings of greater division and make your kids uncomfortable. If they grow too uncomfortable, you may find they don’t wish to be with either of you, and this will hurt the co-parenting plan and the schedule you’ve created.
The point of co-parenting and creating a schedule is so your kids feel like they get both parents. If you become strict about not seeing the other parent, it may hurt your kids more in the future. Be flexible with your kids’ needs and visit when they miss the other parent.
Warn the Kids in Advance
One of the best things you can do is simply warn your kids when there will be a change in routine. This will help them mentally prepare for the change and allow the transition to go smoother.
Find Your Special Routine
Co-parenting can be uncomfortable for kids, and you should stick to their regular routine. However, that does not mean you can’t have your own special routine. This may help them adjust quickly and allow you to still bond as a family.
If you and your spouse have still not agreed on a co-parenting plan, it is time to get Petrelli Previtera involved. One of our attorneys would love to work with you; visit our website to view our team.