There is nothing fun about a divorce for anyone. There was just promise and hope on your wedding day, and to see all of the hopes and dreams collapse is tragic and can be devastating. Divorce disrupts your life and can wear you down emotionally. If you have children, divorce can be even more devastating because in addition to the emotional roller-coaster you are riding, you are also a passenger in your kids’ emotional roller-coaster as well.
At Petrelli Previtera, we understand divorce is so much more than the divorce process. Our mission is to make your divorce process as easy as possible on you and all who are involved. We have over 30 years of experience in handling every aspect of a divorce. We are committed to guiding you through this difficult process by listening to your concerns and tailoring our divorce legal services to your needs. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the emotional toll you may be under and offer up tips to deal with your emotions. If you are in the Douglas County area, contact us today to schedule your consultation!
THE EMOTIONAL TOLL OF DIVORCE: A MYRIAD OF EMOTIONS
- Depression. When you lose your hopes and dreams, it can be depressing or, at the very least, disheartening. Oftentimes, you may feel lost now that your future is shattered and you have no clear direction.
- Stress. Your stress levels are certainly higher when dealing with a dissolution of marriage. You may be moving (one of the biggest stressors in life) or changing jobs (another big stressor). Your routine will be interrupted. And you may have unexpected events that you’ll have to deal with immediately. Filing for divorce is definitely stressful.
- Grief. You may be grieving the loss of your spouse, especially if you are not the one who initiated the divorce or if the divorce was the result of an affair. You may be grieving the loss of intimacy and connection with your spouse as well as the loss of mutual friends. You can also be grieving for your children and the disruptions to their lives as well as a result of the divorce process. Petrelli Previtera, LLC, serving Littleton and Centennial, is an expert in child custody matters, and we always put the child (ren) first in all of our divorce proceedings.
- Anger. It’s common for the divorce process to mimic the grieving process, which includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You may be angry at the disruptions to your life, the changes happening, the loss of your spouse’s income, the hassles involved, and the fact your children will be products of divorce. Likely, you’ll experience some sort of anger or blame in the divorce process.
- Surprise and shock. This is very common when one spouse is blindsided by the other spouse who suddenly one day asks for a divorce when you saw nothing wrong. It can seem unreal for a few days, and you may enter the denial stage of grief.
- Relief. If you were in an abusive or controlling relationship, divorce can lift a burden from your shoulders as you are able to breathe again. Having an end in site can be exactly what you need to move forward.
- Fear. Fear mainly stems from fear of the unknown and fear of the future, which is common when divorce proceedings so drastically change the idea of your future. Fear may also stem from financial fear for many, especially if the spouse was the main bread-winner. Hiring the best divorce attorneys in your area such as Petrelli Previtera, LLC, in can help to ensure you are compensated fairly in the divorce for asset division, child support, and alimony.
TIPS TO COPE WITH THE EMOTIONS OF DIVORCE
- Feel it. Don’t deny your feelings or keep them bottled up. That being said, express your emotions in a productive way (such as on your gym’s punching bag) and don’t bash your spouse in front of your children, who may resent you for it. Lean on a friend or consider a professional counselor who specializes in patients going through divorce who can offer you coping strategies and tools.
- Let it go. This will be the most difficult for you during your divorce process, especially if your divorce is dragging into months and months. You may have to reach deep to dig yourself out of the doldrum trenches, but you must do it. Forgive your spouse, and do it over and over again. Forgive yourself, and don’t blame yourself. This will be vital to your mental and physical health.
- Do nothing. It’s okay to take some time for yourself during this difficult time of divorce proceedings. Binge watching your favorite TV shows, sitting on the couch with a glass of red wine and a good book, or taking some days off work to walk around and count the leaves falling are all wonderful coping strategies to allow your brain to process all of the divorce happenings.
- Develop a new routine as quickly as possible. Humans function optimally in routine. That’s why we experience stress when it’s disrupted. There will be unexpected meetings and divorce proceedings come up, but try as much as possible to go to bed on time, eat regularly and healthily, exercise, and engage in your favorite pastimes as before. If you have children, routine is vital for them to cope effectively. School is their structure, so make it a priority for them. At Petrelli Previtera, LLC, we recommend keeping your children busy with extracurricular activities, which can be therapeutic for them and for you as well.
- Discover new dreams and new hobbies. Some couples do many activities together. Without the other spouse, you may lose some of these activities. For example, if your spouse gets the boat in the divorce proceedings, your weekend with friends on the lake has now vanished. Despite the heartaches a divorce causes, there are bright sides. Take some time to re-evaluate your life, your career, and your interests. Take a painting class. Go to yoga and beer night with a friend. Volunteer at a pet shelter to see if you want to add a furry new friend to your world. Discover your heart again and what makes it sing.
- Make new friends. Divorces are notorious for not only breaking up relationships, but also for breaking up friendships as people may be forced to choose between one or the other. Luckily, the world is full of billions of people, and in the US, half of the population is divorced and half of the population is a child of a divorce. Petrelli Previtera, divorce attorneys in Jefferson County, recommends finding support in similar experiences and support groups for those struggling with the aftermath of divorce. These people are a wealth of advice, and they have been where you are now. Find them, and embrace them close.
- Turn this negative into a positive. Accept the divorce. Get it finalized. Then, move on with your life. Dwelling on it only wastes valuable energy you’ll need to move forward and to help your kids deal with their new lives as well. “White Bears” was a term coined by Daniel Wegner for repetitive and intrusive thoughts (the unfinished business of life per se) that the brain unconsciously searches for. Invite the white bears in, let them roar, snarl, and claw, and then gently pet them and let them wander away peacefully. And when you look up as the bear disappear from sight, you’ll see a rainbow. And we all know what lies at the end of a rainbow.
Related Resources: Navigating Divorce Planning, Preparation, and Complex Issues
Petrelli Previtera offers a comprehensive suite of resources to support you through the challenging journey of divorce. We understand the complexities involved and provide practical guidance on divorce laws, debunking myths, and exploring various approaches such as peaceful divorce through mediation or handling high-conflict situations, including divorcing a narcissist. Our mission is to bring our clients from chaos to clarity during this transformative period.
Also, find related topics for Self-Care During Divorce, including the Emotional Toll of Divorce and strategies for coping, and read tips for managing Fatigue During a Divorce and maintaining your well-being. We also have interpersonal tips for navigating the challenges of Divorcing a Narcissist and addressing the Impact of Divorce on Children and safeguarding their emotional health. Please note the information provided here is for general purposes and should not replace professional legal advice. Each situation is unique, and we encourage you to seek personalized guidance from our attorneys.
Contact Petrelli Previtera today to schedule a consultation. Our team is dedicated to supporting you through your divorce, offering advice and a path towards a brighter future post-divorce.
When you’re looking for a family law firm look no further than Petrelli Previtera, LLC for all of your legal advice and proceedings for a divorce, child custody matters, or child support matters. Contact us for a confidential divorce attorney consultation today!