There’s really no way to deliver bad news, no matter what the bad news is. No one wants to hear it and, depending on the news, the reaction can run the gamut from anger to hurt to shock and despair.
Telling your spouse you want a divorce is one of the hardest things you’ll probably do in your life, especially if your spouse is not expecting it. Petrelli Previtera, LLC, offers up tips to help you ask your spouse for a divorce. Contact us for a consultation today!
TIPS TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE FOR A DIVORCE
- Be prepared. You know your spouse the best and how he or she will take the news, so be prepared for his or her reaction. Choose your words carefully in this difficult time. You may even want to write out what you’ll say, and even reading it can help. Furthermore, a professional counselor can help you tailor the words as well as help you with your tumultuous feelings. Ending a marriage is difficult, so take your time.
- Timing. Telling your spouse you want a divorce after your son just won the state wrestling title is probably not the best idea. Similarly, if your spouse just lost his or her mother or just got laid off from work, dropping another bomb on him or her can be absolutely devastating. Choose a time when you’ll have time to talk without interruptions, so get a babysitter if need be. Don’t rush this, and don’t walk away. Your spouse deserves your explanation and reasons.
- Understanding. Do not announce your divorce in an angry tone, yet at the same time, be firm. You want your spouse to understand this is a firm decision. The last thing you want to do is waffle. Your spouse may be in shock, so another time to meet may be needed as well. This first conversation is to announce the news. You’ll have lots of time to iron out the details, which hopefully your divorce attorneys will handle most of.
- Don’t place blame. Likely the reason for your divorce is not all one-sided. Do not attack your spouse or blame him or her for the divorce. Approach it matter-of-factly and as a process to get through. Stick with “I” and not “you”. The last thing you want is a fight. Odds are, both of you were unhappy in the marriage. Acknowledging your mutual unhappiness is one way to change your spouse’s perspective and not lay blame on anyone.
- Leave the details to your incredible divorce attorneys. If your spouse is amicable and ready for a divorce, he or she may even start discussing the terms of a divorce settlement. Avoid diving into details; leave that to your divorce attorney such as Petrelli Previtera, LLC. You don’t want to get stuck in a sticky situation by agreeing to things you didn’t want to out of guilt when you dropped the news.
- Have a coping strategy in place. As we discussed in a previous blog post, a divorce is full of emotional turmoil. Having a support system in place, such as therapists, good friends and families, and a plan can make a world of difference in your emotional state as well.
There is really no good way to tell someone who you’ve shared years with (sometimes over half your life with) that you no longer want to be with them. This news is the ultimate form of rejection and feeling of failure some people will ever have to deal with.
Petrelli Previtera, LLC are family law attorneys helping our clients navigate the legal field of dissolution of marriage, leaving them to spend their energy on more important things like dealing with the emotional side of a divorce. We also specialize in child custody and child support if children are involved in your divorce. There are many legal steps to a divorce in Colorado, including filing a dissolution of marriage petition, an initial status conference, a temporary orders hearing, financial disclosure and discovery, a trial if necessary, and finally a decree of dissolution of marriage (when your divorce is finalized). Let the divorce attorney experts handle all of this for you. Contact Petrelli Previtera today!