“Even before I met you, my child, I knew I loved you.”

For couples pursuing adoption it can often be extremely nerve-wracking connecting initially with your prospective birth mother or birth parents.  In some cases an agency is the intermediary, introducing everyone.  In others, there is no agency and pairings are made via social or family connections.

Regardless of how you are put in touch, introductions are done typically first done via letter, colloquially dubbed “Dear Birth Mother” letters.

First impressions are vital in every situation.   But, as one can imagine, in a situation where you want someone to trust you enough to adopt their biological child the stakes are even higher.  Here are some tips to keep in mind as you write to the prospective birth mother or birth parents:

1. Be honest.

2. Be positive.

3. Be understanding of her circumstances.

4. Paint a vivid picture of your life and the life you plan to create with your child.

5. Highlight what makes you stand out.

6. Don’t coerce or over promise.

7. Don’t be overly gushy or disingenuous.

8. Be real.

9. Let her know you are ok with her decision, either way.

10. Use positive adoption language.

If you are thinking about pursuing adoption, Petrelli Previtera, LLC specializes in the unique field and can help.  Our attorneys can answer your questions about this sometimes complicated process and put you at ease as you begin your journey.   Contact our office today to set up an initial consultation in a safe, supportive and confidential environment.